GRAMMAR GURUS: Another set of parenthetical commas to spot and a non-finite clause ('ing' clause to you and me).
Under the moonlight I can see the sight that stops your heart
I try to screem but terror takes the sound before you make it...
I have frozen as horror looks me straight into my eyes. Suddenly I'm paralized and nobody can save me from the beast that's about to strike!
Then when I unfroze, I walked into a room. I heard the door slam and realized that there was nowhere else to run. I felt a cold hand and, wondering if I would ever see the sun ever again, I closed my eyes. Hoping it was just my imagination, I could also hear a creature creeping up behind me. I put my hand to my head, praying. Then I was finally released when I started sprinting.
I looked back and then I saw a grave stone that said both my name and my Nan's! I said inside my head what the...
BANG! I fell. I tried to get up but something was holding me back! I looked down and it was my Nan eating my flesh!